Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Jan 28th - The Transition

You know the old saying, "be careful what you wish for..." Well, I found out first hand today how true this is. My father in law has been living with us since July 5, 2008. What a year it has been. First my mother in law passed unexpectedly in March 2008, and then in July, my father in law fell off his bike. He put a fracture in his hip. Yes, as luck would have it, the same hip that had had a hip replacement 20 years prior. So... began the downward spiral. The long and the short of it - 2 major surgeries, and 3 smaller procedures later between August and September, he returned in early October. Of course, he couldn't manuever the stairs immediately and we set him up on a day bed in our living room, with his own recliner, and TV. He had what I would call a little live in quarters. It worked well as he had his space, yet we were able to help him with meals, and whatever else he needed. As the recovery went on, we relished our time with him. Erin got to spend some quality time with her grandfather too. After the Holidays, as the winter set in, he began looking forward to getting home to Florida. I will admit that I also began to look forward to regaining our normal routines.

Well, that wish came true today as he headed back to Florida today. So tonight as I put my daughter to bed, and we snuggled and the house was suddenly so quiet. We couldn't hear my husband and my father in law chatting downstairs, we didn't hear them arguing with the TV about politics, or even cheering on their beloved SU. The house was eerily quiet and I suddenly realized how much I had wished for this during the somewhat chaotic moments over the last months, and how now that it was here, it simply was not as I had expected.

Sometimes change, despite the upheaval it seems to create, also brings new opportunities. I have enjoyed our change over the last few months as it has been a chance to garner fond memories. Time that we may not have been given with my father in law under other circumstances.

I know he will love being back in Florida, with the sunshine and his routines. As for me, I will treasure the times, remember the laughs and know that this change, like others will bring new opportunities, but I will have a quiet breakfast after Erin goes off to school, and I will miss those moments with my father in law recounting times from his past and learning about his heritage and all that made him who he is.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Jan 29th - UNbelievable and UNforgettable

Wow, what a week. I was in NYC this week for work. I left last Sunday and knew that I would be on the go from the minute my plane touched down to the minute I boarded for my return home on Thursday evening 1/22, and I was right.

I left my daughter, my husband and my father in law who is living with us since his hip surgery in August and boarded that plane for work. For those of you that don't know I work for a hotel company - CARINO Hotels & Resorts and we are launching a new reservation arm to our business with a new chain code called "UN". The week was all about "UN" and rolling this out to our members. It has been a bit since I was a road warrior and the whole time, I just kept wondering how I ever did this week after week after week before? It was sad and lonely and just not real. I got to NYC and ran from the airport to my meeting and then from my meeting to a reception with my collegues. Yes, it was fun and exciting....I was back in NYC, what was there not to like? But upon returning to my hotel room at 11:30PM and going to bed alone without saying goodnight to my family - I realized how much I have not missed the days of being a road warrior. I love tucking my daughter into bed and unwinding from the day and talking to my husband. I even missed my quiet times during the day with my father in law and learning all about his life and his family and my husband's heritage.

Monday was busy and started early and ended with a client reception at Rockefeller Square in NYC......yes, again fun - we went ice skating and I didn't fall, and actually felt good about my ability to do this sport. Some of my collegues fell and others just gave up before they started. Yet, again, 11PM return to the hotel and I was missing my family!

Tuesday was a whirlwind....go, go, go and never stopping. Wednesday a bit more relaxed and some time to breath, but I sure did miss my family!

I finally boarded the plane for home and just couldn't wait to see my family and settle into the comfort of home! I made it safely home and couldn't believe that my husband had planned a huge family event for Saturday with his family. A going away party for his father who was heading home to Florida. Normally I would not want people over as I had just been away for a week, I would fret about the condition of the house and want everything to be perfect. This week I just took it all in and hoped for the best.

Then on Friday evening, my wonderful husband made a bonfire in our firepit and we got to sit outside and enjoy the mild weather for Upstate NY. My daughter had a friend over and we had a great evening. I even realized that sometimes the simple things mean so much. Wait....who is this person writing this?

Saturday came and went and I had a great time. No one cared if the house was clean or normal lived in clutter and the world didn't come to an end because we ran out of something. My oldest stepson came over too and it just goes to prove that sometimes life has a way of working out the kinks and coming to rest at an even keel.

So, here we sit, less than 3 days before my father in law heads home and I find that I'm having a hard time giving up what I thought I wanted to have happen. A week ago, I was anxious for him to get back on his own and back to his life, and for us to get back to our little world. Today, I find that our lives have so entwined that there will be a gap with his leaving. My mind, knows that he needs this, yet my heart is being greedy all of a sudden and doesn't want him to leave. Isn't it wierd? Maybe there really is something to be said about the simplicity of our ancestors way of life, their values and their quality of life.

In any event, I'm glad to be home! Being away with little responsibility other than work, has made me appreciate my family and I know that I would never want to be any place else right now tother han home!

Treasure every moment my friends! They truly are all very precious.

Carpe Diem!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Jan 12th - Night time rituals

I just put my daughter to bed and there is nothing like those quiet "snuggle moments" before your child goes to sleep. My daughter and I have this nightime ritual that has been going on since she was very small.

One day we had been playing outside in the snow and we had made snow angels and snowmen. The next day it got warm and our snowmen started to melt. She was sad that evening and asked if mommy's melt or go away like snowmen and I said of course we don't. We are not made of snow, and we stay around for a long time. Erin thought about that for a bit and then before she turned over to snuggle down she gave me this huge hug and kiss and said "I love you forever, and I hope you don't melt. See you in the morning." And thus was born our evening ritual. No matter if I am travelling or home, we end each of our nights the same.....big hugs, kisses when I am home, or kisses to the phone when I am travelling and then "I love you forever, and I hope you don't melt....I love you forever and I'll see you in the morning!"

We have been saying this now for years and I never tire of hearing those words. I love time spent with my daughter, but those special snuggle times are definately some of the best. Treasured times and special words that hold so much meaning for us.

So have a great evening, and I hope you don't melt and I'll see you in the AM.

Good nite.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Jan 11th - I Wish you Enough...

Another dreary cloudy day here is Syracuse, but it's ok. We are having one of those lazy Sunday mornings where you drink coffee, stay in your jammies and just flit from activity to activity. This AM I have downloaded some pictures that I want to use for a Scrapbooking weekend that I am going to next weekend, I've read the updates on my favorite blogs and I've gone onto Ravelry Knitting website to catch up on my groups and get more inspiration for my Christmas 2009 gifts. This is the site to end all sites and is giving me divine inspiration for those lovely Holiday gifts and those special hand made gifts that I love to give throughout the year. I found a great little cardigan for my daughter for this year's gifts
She is just going to love it....maybe in deep purple or something. She is wanting those fingerless mittens too, so that is on my list to surf for next. Maybe in a really soft cashmere. We'll see.

While I was surfing around, I found a great poem that I had not seen in quite a bit...but it was sent to me a while ago. It was so beautiful, and I remember keeping the words, but in the world of technology, they were lost during a computer crash I had a bit back (note to self - remember to journal things down in writing somewhere). I can't take the credit for this as it is a copyright by Bob Perks, but it has been written on cards and in stories. It goes something like this....I wish you enough.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess
I wish you enough "Hello's" to get your through the final "Goodbye"

You can find more of the details here:

Well, I'm off to finally ease into the day, get dressed, maybe do a few things with my daughter, and then make some applesauce for the week and we'll see from there.....

So for today.....I wish you enough.....

Have a great inspiring day!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Jan 9th - Taking the Leap to Blog

January 9, 2008

Well, I've taken the leap and started blogging. I wanted to see what all of the buzz was about and I visited a few sites that my friends have started and found that I'm hooked, so here is my attempt. What was the inpiration for my blog - sunshine. Or, for those of us that live in Upstate NY, the lack thereof in the winter months. I never understood how wonderful sunshine makes you feel until I moved up here and lived through my first "grey" winter. Don't get me wrong, there is a great deal to be said for snuggling up on a cold and windy day with a good book, a blazing fire and a wonderful friend or family to share it with, but like anything else, too much of something isn't always good either. So, here it is folks....Wants2CSunshine! My blog, like sunshine, will hopefully make me smile and feel good about each day and what I have to be thankful for in my life. I hope that if you read this and follow this, you too can smile and leave with a good feeling about things around you.